From Christina: Ah, yes, Valentine’s Day, a time for love and happiness, and sweet thoughts, and, uh, well, yeah, right. Sometimes it doesn’t happen like that.
Worst Valentine’s Day – EVAH!
by Vicki Batman
I know you are thinking no way. But this is a really true story.
I was a single girl for a long while after college and dated all kinds of men. And sometimes, had a Valentine with a few. But one stands out as the worst EVAH.
The day was drizzly. I parked my sedan as close as I could to my front door and dashed through the raindrops to my apartment. As I drew closer, I saw something white stuck on the door. My brow narrowed. Once there, I removed a folded note with my name on it from the crack between the door and the framework. Hmmm. I opened it, and to my amazement, I found a Dear John/Jane letter from a guy I’d dated a few times.
I saw fire engine red. I wasn’t mad about not dating him anymore. I mean, who would be after getting a Dear Jane/John. No, I was pissed over getting this on Valentine’s Day. And if he did this to me, he’d do it again. I determined he needed a lesson.
So I phoned and phoned and phoned him. Every ten minutes. For over an hour. But he wasn’t home or didn’t answer. The coward.
A little later, my friend popped by. She took one look at me and said, “What’s wrong?”
I passed her the note.
She said, “I know what to do. Give me a match.”
My roomie handed her a match. The good friend moved to the fireplace, laid the note on the hearth, lit the match and set it to the paper’s edge. Then she began singing, “Feelings. Nothing more than…”
“Feelings,” my roommate and I added. We burst into giggles. The note became a pile of black scraps.
Fast forward to a few years ago… I sold a version of this story to the True Magazines, entitled “Valentine’s Day Misery.” And to this day, a part of me will always hope the Valentine’s Day moron learned a lesson from someone else.